he came to my hs i very happy but den everytime ppl come my hs will do the same thing wan which is watch tv den slep den i cant slep...haiz...sianz...i dun like this feeling but no choice but to accept cuz there is nothin i can do oso.i fuckin damn broke now left wif nothin....no more money left tomolo hav to eat grass le....my cigarette finish le somemore...den now cant slep will definitly smoke alot wan lo...tomolo no money to eat le no cigarette somemore damn it la regreted so much i bought the bracelet n the ring cost me 300 wif that 300 i can do alot of thing sia...damn angry la...
now i alone here writting my blog i thought he came find me he suppose to talk to me not sleeping...anyway cant really blame him oso he got to work...more things for him to do.haiz...now i cant slep...early in the morning i wake up at 9 den go find leyna den came back to my place i pack my room at least not so messy now....but den haiz,,,,one whole day of doin things even worse den working in the end of the day he juz slep den left me alone...haha....funny....y would i waste such a time doin all these shit when ppl r not appreciate it.well nevermind one time can le....everytime like this ppl will juz take thing for granted....
ppl say that it will only last for 3 months...lets juz sit n wait....everyone saying the same thing so wat do u think?i start to feel very insecure since everyone saying the same thing which mean thing will not work out fine... although we might go through the 3 months but will juz only to proof to ppl that we can b together so no point lo...my b the other person suit u more lo.u shouldn't hav choose me in the 1st place...now almost everyone noe le...initially i wan everything to secret cuz i noe there will b ppl saying this but looks like quite alot ppl noe le.i start to feel very scare the feeling now is diff le...no longer like 1 week back...everyime i blog i can never post it cuz wat ever i say inside here cant let anyone noe...i very xin ku ar...i cant share anything to anyone beside leyna moreover leyna can never understand how i feel.she will only say aiya...juz go ahead lo.now all i can do is write it out hopefully one day i can post lo...nobody noe how i feel....i really love u alot lo....thats y when ppl say tat we cant last 3 months...i feel very sad lo...cuz the person who say this is the person who close to u lo.they noe u well enuf to judge lo.what should i do sia...my most active time is at nite but ur most active time is on the day so i dun think we can really communicate well.i can only think at nite n oso at nite is where i most sensitive time i tend to think more...everytime i can slep n it owes happen when i hav to work next day.sianz.....y everytime like tat...y cant i hav a peaceful nite wan everytime.i seriously very tired le.
wat happen nowadays make me think alot.wat margaret say wat u tell me bout wat jason say.bout wat my sis say to me.everyone juz think tat we cant last long we juz been together for like 2 weeks...ppl juz pour ice water on me...why why why why?????????since is so hard y dun u juz go back to ur gf i think she suit u better since everyone else oso tink so y not u juz give ur gf another chance...mayb she will b more sensitive to ur feeling after wat happen.y not u think n try to give her another chance?u wan to take a break den when u wake up le u let me noe den is time for me to leave u.dun make me drop so deep le den leave me let me hav some time to prepare.i hav a very bad feeling that these day will come very soon...i very scare le cuz i noe i love u le....i oso hav a feeling we wont work out...remember i told u i think alot wan espeacially at nite when im alone...u r here but u slept i noe u r tired so i dun wan to disturb u but...mayb i think too much....let juz hope this nice moment will last a bit more longer mayb at tat time i'll b very sad but is ok i juz wan to spend more time wif u.but looks like we dun hav much time together as u n i hav to work....i rally very long never cry le but i cry twice which is when i wrote this blog n another one....being in love is not like ta wan should b happy everyime wan but y would i cry weird....i not happy i dun dare to let u noe....i cry oso i dun dare to let u noe...i feel so useless to compare to ur gf mayb u should give her a chance....since everyonr think tat is bczu of me u break wif ur gf it make me more guilty...i remember i told u i dun like ppl saying this...i dun care whoever it is i juz dun like ppl say me.
u noe y i keep lookin at u?cuz i noe i would lose u one day n this day will come soon...tats y i wan to cherish every single moment when im wif u.god wont treat me so nice wan....dear dear im sorry to say all these but i really dun feel nice....y dun u juz let me go...only 2 weeks nia i cried twice when i think of this but wat if is longer?how would i feel?i really dun dare to think lo....after writting all these out i feeling much more better n can think more straight....write everything out leden i think i can sleep le....now i should continue think to the bright sight....this happen all the time when nite falls....sianz...y would i b so emotional at nite all the time...haiz...how i wish u r awake to company me den i wont think so much but too bad u too tired to company me le...nothin i can do oso u need rest....i juz cant find anyone tat really suit my timing....wat should i do to make a person understand how i feel when is nite time?am i askin too much?well if that is the case den there is really nothin i can do...guess u wont noe me well enuf if the timing is not rite for us...
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