Who Am I

i've forgotten whom am i already ever since i started my relationship. I'm a totally different person already. what am i doing? why am i doing this to torture myself? i seriously need a break so much. I;ve been thinking all these while why can i lead a good life myself. why do i need to change for someone? too many question too many doubt. am i suppose to continue this road or should i end it. miracle dun happen and will never happen.i trust only myself that fate is in my hand, i juz need to be more firm in wat im doin. after such a long time im still feeling that way. does that mean i dun trust him or i juz simply dun have enough confidence in me. out of sudden too many question and too many doubt. why can i have the life i wan. why can i fight for wat i wan. why cant i love myself more. why cant i be more selfish. why why why why? there is so many why in my head that i will never get an answer. why cant i meet someone who really will be there for me whenever i need them. why must i force myself to accept the fate that i dun wan. why cant i change my own fate when i actually believe that fate is in my hand. did i push myself in this deep hole. did my decision make me like this? am i wrong? i shouldnt have these feeling with a 3 yrs relationship. i didnt do enough? or ppl juz take thing for granted? i dun feel secure whenever im with him. why? i juz wan a very simple life. why cant you give me? why must be im the one who scarify and not you? arent you suppose to be able to give me wat i wan before u r with me? when you say u love someone dun u think that you should give her happiness and not miserable life. whay are u torturing someone that you claim u love so much? did i take thing for granted? did i asked too much? i gave you all my time in return wat have you gave me? insecurity! i didnt do enough? wat else can i do? why, what, where, when so many question that has not been answered.