Who Am I

i've forgotten whom am i already ever since i started my relationship. I'm a totally different person already. what am i doing? why am i doing this to torture myself? i seriously need a break so much. I;ve been thinking all these while why can i lead a good life myself. why do i need to change for someone? too many question too many doubt. am i suppose to continue this road or should i end it. miracle dun happen and will never happen.i trust only myself that fate is in my hand, i juz need to be more firm in wat im doin. after such a long time im still feeling that way. does that mean i dun trust him or i juz simply dun have enough confidence in me. out of sudden too many question and too many doubt. why can i have the life i wan. why can i fight for wat i wan. why cant i love myself more. why cant i be more selfish. why why why why? there is so many why in my head that i will never get an answer. why cant i meet someone who really will be there for me whenever i need them. why must i force myself to accept the fate that i dun wan. why cant i change my own fate when i actually believe that fate is in my hand. did i push myself in this deep hole. did my decision make me like this? am i wrong? i shouldnt have these feeling with a 3 yrs relationship. i didnt do enough? or ppl juz take thing for granted? i dun feel secure whenever im with him. why? i juz wan a very simple life. why cant you give me? why must be im the one who scarify and not you? arent you suppose to be able to give me wat i wan before u r with me? when you say u love someone dun u think that you should give her happiness and not miserable life. whay are u torturing someone that you claim u love so much? did i take thing for granted? did i asked too much? i gave you all my time in return wat have you gave me? insecurity! i didnt do enough? wat else can i do? why, what, where, when so many question that has not been answered.

What Exactly or How Much You Wan Me To Do??!!??!!

I seriously dun understand what exactly am i doing. I'm not suppose to do all these is all non of my business. Out of kindness i help but you all take things for granted. Start feeding me with more and more thinking that it is suppose to be the way. Economy crisis is jus an excuse for you all to take me for granted. Threathening ppl, scare ppl, make everyone thinks that without u everyone will die. Acting being generous but in fact you are juz taking them for granted. WHY AM I SO STUPID to still staying here where ppl dun respect you , ppl dun treat u like a human but a dog. WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!! Stop being so unfair..... Without you, i'll still have a wonderful life or even better. I dun wan to continue to be like this anymore, i dun wan juz to sit down and nodding my head all the time. STOP ACTING GENEROUS WHEN YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!!!



I dun even get a thank you word from you no matter what i do. You juz treat me like a dog, oh no worse than a dog. Not even a compliment from you. WHY do i still continue staying here. Not even a thank you after doing so much. If you wan ppl to leave tell them straight in their face dun have to feed them with more thing make them leave themselve is not going to make you a good person anyway.



WHAT EXACTLY THE F%^K IS WRONG HERE.........!





What have i done wrong to be treated like this? Why issit so unfair.... Eventhough i know there is no such thing as fair in this world but what have i done wrong to be treat like this?